Happy February! Or is it? Here in Seattle, February may not feel so happy. This month, from my perspective, can be a bit challenging emotionally and energetically. It's grey and cold and wet and blah. Plus, sometimes by now the momentum of January-- the "it's a new year, and I'm gonna kick ass doing all the things I said I'd do this year"-- has reached a temporary pause or plateau. And this particular February, with Mercury retrograde in full effect, some of what we were giving our attention to in January is now up for reconsideration and revaluation. Am I right? Have you been feeling any of that? Now if you're feelin' great and still chugging along just fine, congrats! But if you're feeling a bit down or discouraged, frustrated, or like things are sort of on hold or up in the air or not falling into place, not clear, here are a few tips: 1) First of all, feel your feelings. All of them. Do not get sucked down into the abyss, but don’t spiritual bypass[1] here either. I used to be a big fan of spiritual bypassing, such as by "choosing joy" and trying to only focus on the silver linings. Now I know that it's essential to honor and feel the pain and the hurt as well. It’s essential to feel into the depths of your sadness, anger, frustration, fear, and shame, to cry your tears, to yell and scream (not at others, but in a private and safe space), and to let yourself simply feel like crap for a bit if that's how you feel. Allow, allow, allow, and feel. To heal. And trust in the process as it unfolds. Be present with the process, with the ebbs and flows, the highs and lows. Know everything is going to be ok, already is ok, and about to get even better, one way or the other. Feel your feelings, and keep on breathing. 2) Commit to starting your day off right. Did you know that spending 10 minutes, or even just a few minutes, in the morning to think about who and what you love, to envision your goals, to think about what's good, what you're grateful for, can set you up for an awesome day? Trust me. This works. When you first wake up, before getting out of bed, give yourself several minutes for focusing only on all the yummy, juicy, goodness in your life. And as long as you’re also allowing yourself to feel your feelings as they come and go throughout the day, this doesn’t qualify as spiritual bypassing. Since the human brain has a tendency to focus more on the negative, we must retrain it with techniques such as this, to redirect your attention and mindset to focus more on what’s good, to remember what’s good. So go ahead and try it! 3) Morning pages[2]. First thing in the morning, WRITE. By hand. In a notebook. 3 pages. Non-stop. Write before you are awake enough to really think or censor yourself. Just let it flow. Write honestly about how you feel, what your stories are, what your fears are, what your truths are, what your questions are. Be open to the answers coming through. Ask for them to come through. Then listen as you continue to write. Not only will this be like a detox, getting it out of your system, but clarity and peace and healing can come through this process. You just might write yourself out of that rut or bad mood! 4) Move it or lose it. Exercise. Dance. Run. Hike. Whatever gets your heart rate up. I could write much more on this, on why cardio is so helpful for stress and especially for anxiety, so stay tuned for more. But for now, just get moving. Break up the stagnation. If you're feeling physically depressed, it might be hard to get started, but as soon as you do start moving and breathing and sweating, you're going to feel better. Even if only in the moment. 5) Be in the moment. Speaking of the moment, yes, be in it. Be in the present moment. Distract yourself from any nagging or tape loop thoughts about the past or the future by being fully present with what's happening in this moment, with what's right in front of you. I mean that; look at what's right in front of you. Look at an object in front of you. Focus on it, and if possible, pick it up. Look at it closely. Allow yourself to be mesmerized by it. Take in every detail. If you're touching it, feel how it feels. Be here now. And delight in the simplicity. Relax into the peace of presence. Alright, folks. That's all for now. So give these a try, and comment below on how it goes. I'd also love to see if you have any other tips. What works for you? What doesn't? If you're willing to share, please comment below. [1] Spiritual bypassing, a term first coined by psychologist John Welwood, is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. [2] Morning pages is a practice from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. I woke up today yearning to write and write and write and write. I have a couple of topics in particular just waiting for a blog entry. But as the clock ticks, and Tuesdays are full of appointments, I've decided to share with you something I've written before. Not just because I don't have time for fresh content this morning, but because as the holidays approach and the days get shorter, I know I'm not the only one feeling a little stressed. So below is a reminder of what to do when feeling crappy, from a newsletter I sent out in October. Enjoy... Some days are tough. And sometimes those rough patches come when least expected..... On Saturday night I decided to experiment with scheduling a week's worth of these early morning inspirational, start-the-day-off-right kind of posts for my Facebook page. Normally I like hopping online and posting what comes to me in the present moment, but I wanted to see how this would go. Little did I know that on the first day of these pre-scheduled posts, I would be starting my day off with the loss of a super close loved one. I'm not talking about death here. Nobody died. I'm talking about changes in relationships here, how they come and go, and how sometimes the loss of a friendship, or really any type of relationship, is dragged out over time, but sometimes it happens out of the blue, quickly, and in a way that really hurts. So when I realized that these posts were going to be going out during my grieving and adjustment period, I suddenly felt like a phony. It wasn't intentional. It was just timing. Strange, ironic, awful, yet perfect, timing. Here's what that first one said: Did you know that spending even just a few minutes in the morning to envision your goals, to think about what's good, who and what you love, what you're grateful for, can set you up for an awesome day? Go ahead and try it! That's nice, right? Right. I never would have written that at 7 a.m. on this particular Monday though. But the truth is, it worked. My own post cheered me up by reminding me of what's good. I still spent a lot of the day crying and being present with a vast array of emotions, but my seemingly "phony" post, followed by the truly authentic glimmers of Love, Light, and Joy it stirred up in me, were just as real and as necessary to experience yesterday as my pain and tears. So here are today's top 5 tips for getting through a rough patch: 1) Feel your feelings. All of them. Don't you dare spiritual bypass here. I used to be a big fan of spiritual bypassing, such as by "choosing joy" and trying to only focus on the silver linings. Now I know that it's essential to honor and feel the pain and the hurt, to cry your tears, to yell and scream, to let yourself simply feel like crap for a bit if that's how you feel. Allow, allow, allow, and feel. To heal. 2) Balance solitude and self-reliance with reaching out for support and spending time with friends. It's so common to isolate when we feel bad, when we're going through a rough time. Maybe because we're tired or truly want some alone time, but it can also come from a place of shame or feeling like you don't want to impose on others. You don't want to be that person who's moping and bringing others down. But here's the thing: people who love you want to be there for you, and they will be there for you. So reach out and touch someone. Literally. Touch is good. Ask for hugs. Ask for cuddles. Take a friend's dog for a walk. Go to a pet store if human contact isn't available. Interact, connect, and allow yourself to feel loved and held by others. 3) Morning pages. First thing in the morning, WRITE. By hand. In a notebook. 3 pages. Non-stop. Write before you are awake enough to really think or censor yourself. Just let it flow. Write honestly about how you feel, what your stories are, what your fears are, what your truths are, what your questions are. Be open to the answers coming through. Ask for them to come through. Then listen as you continue to write. Not only will this be like a detox, getting it out of your system, but clarity and peace and healing can come through this process. 4) Spend time outside. Ahhhhh, fresh air. I'm sitting in it now. Out by Lake Washington, listening to the waves, feeling a cool breeze. I don't care what the weather is like; when you're having a tough time, go outside. Breathe fresh air. Connect with nature. Let Mother Earth nurture and recharge you. 5) Trust in the process as it unfolds. Be present with the process, with the ebbs and flows, the highs and lows. Know everything is going to be ok, already is ok, and about to get even better, one way or the other. That's all for now, folks. Much Love and Light and Peace to you all, Rebecca Rebecca Clio Gould Women's Holistic Health & Empowerment Coach Sheng Zhen Teacher Writer Have you ever been going about your day, feeling great, and then an interaction with someone leaves you feeling depleted? Maybe even sick to your stomach? Or gives you a headache? That recently happened to me. Not the headache, but total depletion and nausea. It happened after my neighbor told me all sorts of "scary" stuff about my house, the house I bought and moved in to last month. And I even thought I was following my own advice while talking with her, creating a good energetic and emotional boundary. I amped up my inner light and expanded my own protective "happy bubble." I listened to what she had to say, and even responded pretty positively, with a sense of calm and perspective, no worries, no fear. But as soon as I walked away? I felt sick and tired. And totally freaked out and upset about some of what she had said. The first thing I did in response to noticing this? Well, first I actually looked in the mirror, said "what the fuck?," stuck out my tongue along with a "bleh" while shaking my body for a few seconds like a traumatized animal. Then I sat down and took a deep breath. Next? I called my real estate agent, who is also a good friend and knowledgeable about all things related to not only home-purchasing but home ownership and maintenance. And he helped me see what I already knew: don't worry about it-- there's always a solution; and.... my fear-based neighbor had just zapped me. Don't get me wrong; my neighbor is sweet, and her intentions were good. Plus, it's important to have the information and some of the warnings she provided. My concern though was how it affected me energetically and emotionally. Although I was able to shake it off pretty quickly, it was intense while it lasted. And part of the intensity for me was actually the surprise of it. I was surprised to be feeling so affected. But I was. I'm human. And sometimes, despite our best efforts to prevent them, energy drains happen; energy zappers get us. What to do when that happens? Here's what I suggest: 1) Surrender to it; rest. Resisting takes even more energy, so admit to the depletion. First, give in to the reality of the energy drain so that you can then go beyond the reality of the energy drain, to the reality of that there is an infinite supply of energy; you can and deserve to reclaim yours. 2) Voice it. Calling my friend, speaking about what had just happened, helped lighten up the heaviness and shine light on the darkness. It's a way of getting it out of your system, brushing it off, releasing it. If you don't have someone to talk to, or prefer to keep it to yourself, write it out. Using your voice in speech or in writing is a great way to let go of what you don't want and welcome in what you do want; it's a great way to get your power, your energy, back. 3) Shake. Literally, shake.it.off. Jump around, move around, whatever it takes. Moving your body will also help break up stagnation and bring in fresh, pure, vital life-force energy to revitalize and restore you. Drinking water and getting some fresh air will help too. Standing in the earth with bare feet is a wonderful thing to do. So when all else fails to prevent energy drains, try the above suggestions, and then report back here with a comment. Other tips are welcome too! What's your favorite way to regain, to reclaim, your energy when it's been drained? Comment below or email me; I'd love to hear from you. |
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Rebecca Clio Gould is a Certified Sheng Zhen Teacher and Holistic Wellness Coach. Her specialties include self-love, embodied joy, women's sexuality, spirituality, surgery preparation, and trauma recovery. She is also a Supreme Science Qigong Instructor, Essence vs Form Coach, and Award-winning Author of "The Multi-Orgasmic Diet: Embrace Your Sexual Energy and Awaken Your Senses for a Healthier, Happier, Sexier You." Archives
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